Inclusive Care in Alopecia: Beyond Diagnosis
Transcript: Hair’s cultural impact and redefining beauty
Nikki Vontaya
All transcripts are created from interview footage and directly reflect the content of the interview at the time. The content is that of the speaker and is not adjusted by Medthority.
I think that when I was younger, and I talk about this on my social media, a lot of like, how when I was younger I would wake up in the morning quite literally, wake up in the morning every day before school and look in the mirror and just call myself ugly. I didn't feel like I, I went to a predominantly black school. My family members, like, my dad's side of the family, the, you know, everyone in that side of the family had really like, curly, curly, long, curly hair. My mom's side of the family had thick, beautiful, long hair. It was like, and hair holds such as significance, like I said, and as you mentioned, in black communities, like, how are you styling your hair, you know, different things like that, and to feel like that part of me was taken really affected me a lot, and I didn't feel good enough, and I didn't feel pretty enough, and I didn't feel like, you know, I just felt, kind of felt like life was over a little bit.
Like, not to over dramatise it, but it really did turn me like very, very, very small individual. I would try to disappear and hide myself, like, because I didn't feel pretty, and I would actually, I would get teased as a child, and I feel like as interactions with my community, I still have this issue now. Like, and like I said, as you get older, you start to realise why you are the way that you are. But I have a issue with people not looking me in my eyes, even at this age, because when I was younger, people would always look me at the top of my head to figure out, "Is she wearing a wig? What is this? What's that? What's that?" So I have a huge thing about people looking me in my eyes and I can always tell when their eyes are somewhere else because that's all I, you know, dealt with as a child. So it had a huge impact on how I interacted with my community. It had a huge impact on, you know, how I saw myself, but as I've gotten older, like, I feel like at this point in my life, especially probably like, a year or two years ago, I'm finally getting to the point where I am owning my alopecia more so that it's, you know, it's not owning me anymore.
I challenge myself still to this day to like, walk out bald and like, try to embrace myself, not just bald, but also what I look like with the wig, you know? So, and sometimes I have my little moments, like, I feel like last month I was, I'm sick of wigs. I feel like if I had hair I would look so much better. Like, I would love to be able to put braids in my hair right now. And sometimes I have those little moments but I'm definitely at a place now where I love how I look bald. I love how I look in the wig, and being able to say that is such huge, huge, huge progress and growth. And being able to present myself as whatever version as I wanna be that is truly authentic to who I am is huge growth in my journey.
Developed by EPG Health. This content has been developed independently of the sponsor, Pfizer, which has had no editorial input into the content. EPG Health received funding from the sponsor to help provide healthcare professional members with access to the highest quality medical and scientific information, education and associated relevant content. This content is intended for healthcare professionals only.
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